“No matter where you run, you just keep running into yourself”

Before I post on my Barcelona adventures…I just wanted to blog about some of the feelings I’ve been having.  I’ve been feeling a bit…off.  As I was sifting through the document entitled “Fave Quotes” on my computer (which I often do, when I need a way to articulate my feelings), I came across the above quote (can anyone guess where it’s from?  Breakfast at Tiffany’s, of course :) ).

This isn’t my first time living abroad, so I’m not completely foreign to the feelings of culture shock, but for some reason this time living abroad has been a bit more difficult…or maybe it’s just because I recall all of the wonderful times from my previous times abroad, and I’m forgetting all the rough times at the beginning?  Regardless…I’m quite often a deep thinker, always pondering this and that.  I’m also a chronic “wisher”- I always wish I was “there” not “here”.  When I finally get “here” I want to be “there.”  It really is an unfortunate way to live ones life. 

I think part of the reason I wish all the time, is because by not liking where I am, I don’t have to face the scariness and difficulties that one can face in the present.  In other words, I’m a tried and true scardy cat!  Unfortunately, by not being present, I feel…I KNOW I am missing out on some of the really great things in life.

While it’s easier and more comfortable to hang out at home instead of making an effort to go out and do things and meet new people or while it’s easier to sit by myself at school “recess” instead of letting go of my ego and attempting to speak in Spanish and connect with the other teachers or while it’s easier to wait to see what other people are doing instead of just going solo somewhere and seeing what I want to see, when I want to see it…the easier thing never gets me the results I want, thus leaving me blue and/or full of regret.

I know this won’t be an easy task.  But I feel like I need to just face the fact that life is what you make of it; be present; quit wishing life away; no regrets.  Living and working in Madrid is an opportunity of a lifetime, and I’m sick and tired of wishing my life away, it’s time to BE PRESENT.

So…I guess…here goes nothin’